Ah, the beginning of the school year! Every kid knows there are two times you have to look your best. The first day of school and the day after Christmas break. Being the first day I really needed to look my best. I go to my father and tell him I need new clothes for school. My father was never the type to take any of the kids shopping. He is the "I am cool, I will pick you out something" dad. He would rather go in and grab you something that his old ass thought was cool, rather than let you come and run the prices up on him. So, having no other choice I have to wait to see what he brings home. My mind is in panic mode. I am putting my style into the hands of the same man that walks around in wind breaker shorts, polo shirt and cowboy boots. Alarms are going off!!
So the day before school starts he comes in my room and tosses a couple pair of jeans on the bed. He's standing in the door looking like hes got some super style, nodding his head like I was going to be the freshest kid at school and waiting for his pat on the back. But, the jeans looked like he bought them from a hippie. One pair had a bleached leg, the other had bleached spots all over them. My only response was. "Ah man, you gonna get me killed"! "What man, what? These are what all the kids are wearing" coming from someone in late 40s. "They might have been what they were wearing when you were a kid but not kids now", I responded. "Boy, just put the jeans on and be happy you got something"!
Faced with no other choice, the hippie jeans or last year editions. I put on the jeans I think will least likely get me joked out of the lunchroom. The pair with one leg bleached! So, I am off to school. Now when you walked into school there is always that morning session while waiting on all the buses to come, you stand there and can get a feel for how the day might go. I was in trouble! Schools first bell hasn't rung and I am catching jokes. You know when people come up to you and say "where you get those jeans from? They are cool" then they walk away laughing. I knew it would be a long day.
So, as the day went on the jokes just kept coming. I myself was a joker so I had thick skin but after a day of getting bombarded, I was relived it was finally coming to an end. In my final class of the day, a friend of mine, Steve (name change) came up to me and was like, "man those jeans are fresh". Now here I am thinking, not you too. But, Steve and I had been friends since before school. He was my very first friend and we remain friends even up until now. But, I know Steve better than he knew himself and a compliment from him was almost like a conformation I had really messed up. Steve wasn't the brightest bulb, but his heart was always in the right place. He was strange like that. So when he told me he liked them, I was kinda like, yeah right man. But, I entertained his conversation. The more he talked the more I realized that he might really like the jeans, and liked them so much that he asked where I got them. He cant really like these (hell I didn't like them myself) and he is just trying to jerk my chain, I thought to myself. "I did them myself" I responded just to amuse him. But then, his eyes lit up like "for real?". "I got some black jeans at home, you think you can hook me up too?" "Sure man, bring them by and I will get right on it" with a come on man stop messing with me attitude.
I finally get home, complaining to my dad that he has really got me messed up and never go shopping for me again, the doorbell rings. Steve had borrowed his moms car and was at the door with faded black jeans in hand. "You ready to do this man?" he is excited and cant wait to let the master get to work. I have never bleached a thing in my life. I had no idea what to do, but I wasn't about to tell Steve that. He was so excited I couldn't let him down. I had to go through to the end. I grab a bucket, I grab the bleach and I grab some rubber bands. I had heard about rubber bands being used, didn't know for what but thought I had a good idea why. I wrap the rubber bands around the leg as many times as I can then I start dipping the leg into the bucket of bleach. All the while, I am bragging to Steve about how fresh he will look and that he is getting some custom made jeans. He was pumped. "I got some more jeans I can bring," Steve said "OK, but first, lets just see how these turn out", I responded.
As I remove the jeans from the bucket the smell of bleach had my eyes watering. It was dripping bleach everywhere and I had noticed the black leg wasn't nice and white but a nasty yellow. I wasn't very impressed with my work and was kinda disappointed it didn't turn out a little better. But, in Steve's eyes he saw potential. I tried best I could to ring out the bleach in the pants so that he can get them back home without it bleeding over to other parts of the jeans. I toss them in a bag and tell him to take them home and wash them real good. I even committed, "man, I don't think they turned out too good" but Steve wasn't hearing that. He was determined and left on his way home!
The next morning at school, I had resorted back to a last year model of jeans and was going under the radar. I was leaning against the locker watching all the action of early morning antics, when I hear laughter in the distance. One of the kids run by and say "you gotta see this". Here comes Steve, wearing the yellow leg, randomly spotted, black faded jeans walking like he was the man. This sent the morning crowd into hysterical laughter. Everyone laughing but Steve having no clue why. I try to rush to him to tell him the jeans are a bust and he might want to switch to his PE clothes. But, the bell sounds and Steve is off to his class before I can make the warning. The rest of the day I am hearing all the jokes people were saying about Steve, but I still haven't got to talk to him. I knew I would see him in the last period but by then it was too late the damage would be done.
I make it to last class of the day and Steve walks in to the sounds of more laughter. I approach Steve shaking my head, as I approach the stench of bleach is stronger and stronger. With his eyes wide open looking as if he has inhaled an ammonia capsule, Steve says to me " Man, I don't think the jeans turned out to good and mom is going to kill me." I asked why. Steve responds, that on his way home some of the bleach got on his moms car seats and he washed the jeans with other clothes his mom had put in the wash which had bled on to other clothes. So not only did he get a day of jokes, he got a load of bleached laundry and an evening of butt beating. I know, I know, what a bad friend I am, but feeling bad, I call Steve to apologize. He answers the phone, I can hear his mom in the background cussing him out. After I finish my apology, he pauses as if he is thinking and his only response is "Next time you need to make the rubber bands tighter!"
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