Brow Down

     My brother, stepbrother and I were sitting on the couch one evening watching Yo! Mtv Raps, and having a rap off! You know, see who knows the most words to the songs. We are sitting there fascinated by the style that some of the artist have and are looking to see what we can incorporate into our modest lifestyles. This was the time when putting the lines in your eyebrows was the thing. I wanted to try it but wasn't feeling like trying it on myself. I needed to see how it looked first hand. So with that thought in mind I look at my stepbrother Jason and nonchalantly said "man, you should let me hook you up". Him watching the videos and being into them also, shrugs his shoulders and says "OK".

     The three of us head into the bathroom and prepare for the procedure. I got clippers in hand and as a seasoned surgeon I take aim and size up my operation. Jason lays his head back, eyebrows thick as bushes and patiently awaits as my brother is over my shoulder as my assistant. As I make my first cut, I move the clippers back and forth, just a little bit to make it visible. But, in my back and forth movement, I got caught up in the excitement moved a little too much! "Uh Oh, its too wide" I think to myself and at the same time looking at my brother to get his opinion. He's got this "that's, not cool" look. So, it leaves me going in once again to correct my mistake and decided while talking to myself that "maybe I should give the other line a friend and it will all blend perfectly". This move turns into a double whammy! His eyebrow is starting to look like a Morris Code book. Long line, short line, long line.

     Now taking a step back to see what the damage is and how I might be able to repair this, my brother now has a "whatcha gonna do now" look on his face. We have a CODE RED! We are now in an emergency situation. I now have no choice and forced to make a quick decision.  I decide to shave the brow half off and try to salvage it. This being now my third cut, I go in and shave half of the brow off. His right brow fully intact and the left brow now half there. Its not looking good! "Man, if my dad sees this, I am going to get a super beating", I start to think to myself.  I cant leave the half brow there. It was too noticeable. "Maybe I can super glue the hair back on?" No, that wont work, with my luck I might super glue his eyelids shut.  So, once again, faced with no choice, I think, "its probably best to remove it all" and in one swift move, the sound of the clippers like a lawnmower in heavy grass, I shred the left eyebrow off.

     Hmmmmm, I start to find myself with my back against the wall often now. Every time I try to make a correction it was only turning out to be another fatal mistake. My brother who's giggling on the side, knows that this isn't turning out as planned. How did a simple line turn into a loss of an eyebrow? I am trying not to laugh and at the same time trying to convince my step brother that it will be cool. But, with only one eyebrow (the right one), I cant have him going to school like like that. With only one eyebrow everyone will surely see one is missing and I will be in big trouble. So, I have to make another emergency decision. With the look of the doctor giving his patient bad but hopeful news, I tell him "Jason, I'm going to have to remove the other one, but this time it will even everything out and it should be fine." He lays his head back and I begin.

      Damn, damn, damn!! He is now looking like an 11 year old transvestite. Just as pretty as he wants to be. Not one hair on his face! Nothing but his eye lashes! A simple line turns out to be death of two eyebrows and I am a soon to be dead too. When my dad sees this, I am scared to think what will happen. I make a mad dash into my step sisters makeup bag, digging through looking for anything that can help me cover up the destruction I just caused. I come across a brown eyeliner pencil and get to coloring the best eyebrows that I can on him. Me trying to be a perfectionist but not taking into thought that you can't make a guys eyebrows like you would a woman's (I don't know how to put on any makeup). I'm all done, thin and pointy. They aren't the best but at least something is there.

    I decide its best that I go hide out in my room and hope that dad doesn't see this. The night goes by fairly quiet for me. Dad comes home and I don't hear anything out of the normal, so the coast is clear. I just gotta make sure I give Jason some eyebrows for school in the morning. I have to buy enough time for them to start growing back in. I close my eyes and drift off to sleep.

     I am in a deep sleep, blankets pull up to my neck and only my head sticking out. Out of no where I am awakened to a crushing weight on me, pinning me under the blankets and the sound of clippers making that click and hum as they turn on. Still startled, its too late! My dad has me pined under the covers and yelling "you want to cut people eyebrows off?" and dipping the clippers randomly into my perfect round little afro. I cant move! I only can try to yell and move my head around hoping he only grazes me. Wrong!! He was making deep gashing cuts into my head, here and there. I finally am able to get my head under the covers to avoid any more of the afro massacre. "No no no, my fro", I say over and over. As he leaves laughing and saying "I bet you wont cut anymore eyebrows off", I sit in shock. I rush to the bathroom to investigate the damage. I looked like a baby leopard. Spots all over my head.

      After a night of light sleeping, not wanting another attack and wishing my hair grows back fast while I am asleep, its time to get ready for school. There wasn't enough hair products in the world that could cover the holes in my head.  I combing hair this way and that way. Finally I decided, I am going to have to sneak a hat with me and take it off only when I had too. So that morning as we all wait for our buses to come. Jason, looking like a contestant on RuPaul's Show and me looking like I came out post op brain surgery, my brother sits in the middle looking at both of us with unstoppable laughter.

    A long day of school ends and I return home. My brother and step brother are sitting in the living room. My step brother has makeup running down his face where I had drew his eyebrows on, from sweating and playing at school had him looking like a washed up sad circus clown. What started out to be stylish, ended up a fashion nightmare.